AFTER FORTIES -YOUNG WOMEN.

AFTER FORTIES- YOUNG WOMEN

Dear children of God, today we are going to deal a counseling subject in Christian perspectives. Young women after forties they feel that they are losing something without knowingly. They try to show off well and nothing wrong in their life and feel everything is okay. They live duel life, which one side others exalts, make them a role model but other side of their life is vacuum and empty. Some young women say that I am ok, but others are not ok. Some says that others are ok but I am not ok. When they reach forty and above they feel that they have lost the youngness, happiness and other ultimate enjoyment of family life; it’s because of three enemies they kept inside of their life. 1. Proudness- I know everything.2.Adamant- What I say is right or correct.3. Egoism- No one is right to question me, or correct me. These kind of young women split their personality, family, relationship and their own life. This will cause them hurts and wounds and its consequences. The bible says that the wisest of women builds her house. But folly with her hands tears it down. The women folly is loud; she is seductive and knows nothing. A gracious woman gets honor; like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman without discretion. An excellent wife who can find? She is more precious than jewels. Charm is deceitful, and the beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

DUEL FACE: - Once a beautiful young woman Greta from my parish around forty five, she came to me get counseling and guidance. She equipped herself as social worker and a member of high society. She had wealth, fame and highly extoled as role model in the society. She said that suffering people and neglected people will come to me for help and guidance. I will be a console to them and they took me as role model. She said that I am happy outwardly but inwardly I feel vacuum and emptiness. I used to cry in my bed, I wet my bed with tears in the night. I suffer with duel face. Outwardly I show the smile and happy face and other side, I hid my original face and I suppress my emotions and feelings. It breaks me.

All the young women have and show the duel faces. All the young women have one child and one adult, one parent, one defender, one wise woman, one folly, one good woman, and one evil and arrogant woman. Why and how is it? We have to go back to the sweet teenage stages and find out the stress where it lies? . This girl, when she was in the higher secondary school, she was good, obedient and smart. But she entered in to the college; she entered in to the dream world and enjoyed life. In dream world she got handsome guy, good job holder, well to do person, jovial and good personality; but in reality she did not get or find the perfect man. She loved that person and she decided to get marry the guy without consulting her parents. When her parents understood, they raised their voices against her love and marriage with that guy but she married and settled. She did not find the perfect man in realistic world and in the family life. She discovered that family life in real day today life faced with difficulty and challenges. So, she divorced him, because she could not cope with him; she wanted to live free. Now she turned backed her own life; she failed utterly, so to hide her inward face she developed hard work to equip her highly in the society. She stood alone to win the world with her outward show up but her inner heart hates her saying that ‘you spoiled your youth and family and Godly fellowship with the God and parents and the husband”. Her inner mind said that you have spoiled fifteen years of your young life. I guided to think about her duel face and its failure, and she said I have taken wrong self-decision and it made me worst. I have divorced my husband, and lost my youth life. I have guided her to take right decision to turn back to God, and live a right life. Now she was happy. Wait for the Lord and keep his ways, and he will exalt you to inherit the land.

THREE ENEMIES: - Another young woman Nita from my parish around forty, highly educated, company owner and well-off person came to me for guidance and counseling.  Her behavior and styled decorated haircut and decent dressing revealed her dignity. But her face was filled with anger and emptiness. I just asked her do you have any friends? Suddenly she said that I have no friends, because I cannot adjust with them. I asked the next question, how is your relationship with your relatives? She said, we have some relatives, but I won’t talk to them, because I don’t have personal relationship, I don’t like them; only my father has. How about your married life? She said that everything went first nice but after that I could not cope with him. so I divorced him, now I am living with my father and I am managing my father’ company. The problem now is my father always poking his nose into my company administration. That I did not like, previously I told my father do not poke into my personal and company administration and matters. Next question is asked, do you love anybody? She said for the past six months I loved a person and soon I am going to marry him. She asked, May I get marry this man? I guided her and said does not haste to get marry him? She asked why? I said, first you have to chase three enemies’ from your life, unless and until you will not succeed. She asked who they are. 1. Proudness-I know everything, I do not like another’ help.2.Adamant – What I say is right or corret.3. Egoism- No one has right to correct me or question me. Because of these three enemies you have shattered down your friendship, relationship, family life. Already you have shattered down your family life now you are going to shatter down your father’ properties and company. Because of your egoism, you will break the next marriage too. Again you will meet the failure in your family life. In 20^thc some familiar and dominated figures kept egoism in their center seat of heart and worshipped it. The world called and exalted them as ‘dream girls’. People went after them and took them as a role model of their life. But soon they ended their life with suicide. Marilyn Monroe was a “Dream Girl” and started search happiness in cine field; but she couldn’t get it. She had divorced her husband and married with Joe the player. This married life also ended with failure. Then she married a writer Arthur Millar. This relationship also ended. Lastly she was searching happiness by addict to drugs and had renewed her relationship with Joe. The marriage day also was fixed; but day before her marriage she ate more sleep pills and drugs and suicide herself. She was after her egoism she collapsed her life.  Now the young women Nita slowly realized her egos and she understood her enemies developed in her and occupied her. She was come forward to get counseling in a right time to realize her faults and wrong decisions.

Dear friends, now a day young people are more attracted by the Medias, internet, fashion shows and new trends. Young girls and young women spent hours together in front of mirrors and beauty parlors. This kind of new trends and fashions are leading to the dream world. They started to live in the dream world and where they wanted to find happiness; they do not want to find happiness in the real living world. When they start to live in the real world; they start to face the reality and problems, then they try to show duel faces. In that once they fail, they are depressed and they start to grow egoism. But egoism fails in their life situations; they are wounded and hurt by their remorse feelings. They try to find a way to get away from this stress and wounds. Now they try to find the lacked happiness, once they could not they end their life.

Jesus is the ‘wound healer’. He came down to this world to heal our wounds and broken hearts and contrite spirits. He came as a Good Samaritan to bind up our wounds, pouring on oil and wine to heal and take care of us. He was wounded and burnished to help to those who undergo with wounded and crushed heart.  He will not despise a broken and contrite heart. If we just come to the wound healer and say lord restore my joy and gladness of my heart, he will do it.

 Dear brothers and sisters, we can heal the deep inner heart wounds by deep sharing. Ministry of sharing or counseling will only dress up the wounds; but Jesus Christ the wound healer will heal us. So let us listen to the word of God which will lead to the wound healer. Others will see and watch our respectful and pure conduct of day today life. So, do not let your adorning be external- the braiding of hair and putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear- but let your adorning be the hidden person of heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quite spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn them, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do well and do not fear anything that is frightening. Let us adorn the fear of the Lord to obey his words. He will heal our wounds and makes us well to say that I am ok and you are ok. This healing will bring joy and happiness into the young women who are in forties. Kindly share this good news to the young people those who are in need of help, and send a word to my email  id. revsjc@gmail.com, revsjc721@gmail.com, revsjc12@hotmail.com, johnchelliah857@yahoo.com.