AFTER FORTIES- YOUNG WOMEN
Dear children of God, today we are going to deal a counseling
subject in Christian perspectives. Young women after forties they feel that
they are losing something without knowingly. They try to show off well and
nothing wrong in their life and feel everything is okay. They live duel life,
which one side others exalts, make them a role model but other side of their
life is vacuum and empty. Some young women say that I am ok, but others are not
ok. Some says that others are ok but I am not ok. When they reach forty and
above they feel that they have lost the youngness, happiness and other ultimate
enjoyment of family life; it’s because of three enemies they kept inside of
their life. 1. Proudness- I know everything.2.Adamant- What I say is right or
correct.3. Egoism- No one is right to question me, or correct me. These kind of
young women split their personality, family, relationship and their own life.
This will cause them hurts and wounds and its consequences. The bible says that
the wisest of women builds her house. But folly with her hands tears it down.
The women folly is loud; she is seductive and knows nothing. A gracious woman
gets honor; like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman without
discretion. An excellent wife who can find? She is more precious than jewels.
Charm is deceitful, and the beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is
to be praised.
DUEL FACE: - Once a beautiful young woman Greta from my parish
around forty five, she came to me get counseling and guidance. She equipped
herself as social worker and a member of high society. She had wealth, fame and
highly extoled as role model in the society. She said that suffering people and
neglected people will come to me for help and guidance. I will be a console to
them and they took me as role model. She said that I am happy outwardly but
inwardly I feel vacuum and emptiness. I used to cry in my bed, I wet my bed
with tears in the night. I suffer with duel face. Outwardly I show the smile
and happy face and other side, I hid my original face and I suppress my
emotions and feelings. It breaks me.
All the young women have and show the duel faces. All the young
women have one child and one adult, one parent, one defender, one wise woman,
one folly, one good woman, and one evil and arrogant woman. Why and how is it?
We have to go back to the sweet teenage stages and find out the stress where it
lies? . This girl, when she was in the higher secondary school, she was good,
obedient and smart. But she entered in to the college; she entered in to the
dream world and enjoyed life. In dream world she got handsome guy, good job
holder, well to do person, jovial and good personality; but in reality she did
not get or find the perfect man. She loved that person and she decided to get
marry the guy without consulting her parents. When her parents understood, they
raised their voices against her love and marriage with that guy but she married
and settled. She did not find the perfect man in realistic world and in the
family life. She discovered that family life in real day today life faced with
difficulty and challenges. So, she divorced him, because she could not cope
with him; she wanted to live free. Now she turned backed her own life; she
failed utterly, so to hide her inward face she developed hard work to equip her
highly in the society. She stood alone to win the world with her outward show
up but her inner heart hates her saying that ‘you spoiled your youth and family
and Godly fellowship with the God and parents and the husband”. Her inner mind
said that you have spoiled fifteen years of your young life. I guided to think
about her duel face and its failure, and she said I have taken wrong
self-decision and it made me worst. I have divorced my husband, and lost my
youth life. I have guided her to take right decision to turn back to God, and
live a right life. Now she was happy. Wait for the Lord and keep his ways, and
he will exalt you to inherit the land.
THREE ENEMIES: - Another young woman Nita from my parish around
forty, highly educated, company owner and well-off person came to me for
guidance and counseling. Her behavior
and styled decorated haircut and decent dressing revealed her dignity. But her
face was filled with anger and emptiness. I just asked her do you have any
friends? Suddenly she said that I have no friends, because I cannot adjust with
them. I asked the next question, how is your relationship with your relatives?
She said, we have some relatives, but I won’t talk to them, because I don’t
have personal relationship, I don’t like them; only my father has. How about
your married life? She said that everything went first nice but after that I
could not cope with him. so I divorced him, now I am living with my father and
I am managing my father’ company. The problem now is my father always poking
his nose into my company administration. That I did not like, previously I told
my father do not poke into my personal and company administration and matters.
Next question is asked, do you love anybody? She said for the past six months I
loved a person and soon I am going to marry him. She asked, May I get marry
this man? I guided her and said does not haste to get marry him? She asked why?
I said, first you have to chase three enemies’ from your life, unless and until
you will not succeed. She asked who they are. 1. Proudness-I know everything, I
do not like another’ help.2.Adamant – What I say is right or corret.3. Egoism-
No one has right to correct me or question me. Because of these three enemies
you have shattered down your friendship, relationship, family life. Already you
have shattered down your family life now you are going to shatter down your
father’ properties and company. Because of your egoism, you will break the next
marriage too. Again you will meet the failure in your family life. In 20thc
some familiar and dominated figures kept egoism in their center seat of heart
and worshipped it. The world called and exalted them as ‘dream girls’. People
went after them and took them as a role model of their life. But soon they
ended their life with suicide. Marilyn Monroe was a “Dream Girl” and started
search happiness in cine field; but she couldn’t get it. She had divorced her
husband and married with Joe the player. This married life also ended with
failure. Then she married a writer Arthur Millar. This relationship also ended.
Lastly she was searching happiness by addict to drugs and had renewed her
relationship with Joe. The marriage day also was fixed; but day before her
marriage she ate more sleep pills and drugs and suicide herself. She was after her egoism she
collapsed her life. Now the young women
Nita slowly realized her egos and she understood her enemies developed in her
and occupied her. She was come forward to get counseling in a right time to
realize her faults and wrong decisions.
Dear friends, now a day young people are more attracted by the
Medias, internet, fashion shows and new trends. Young girls and young women
spent hours together in front of mirrors and beauty parlors. This kind of new trends
and fashions are leading to the dream world. They started to live in the dream
world and where they wanted to find happiness; they do not want to find
happiness in the real living world. When they start to live in the real world;
they start to face the reality and problems, then they try to show duel faces.
In that once they fail, they are depressed and they start to grow egoism. But
egoism fails in their life situations; they are wounded and hurt by their
remorse feelings. They try to find a way to get away from this stress and
wounds. Now they try to find the lacked happiness, once they could not they end
their life.
Jesus is the ‘wound healer’. He came down to this world to heal
our wounds and broken hearts and contrite spirits. He came as a Good Samaritan
to bind up our wounds, pouring on oil and wine to heal and take care of us. He
was wounded and burnished to help to those who undergo with wounded and crushed
heart. He will not despise a broken and
contrite heart. If we just come to the wound healer and say lord restore my joy
and gladness of my heart, he will do it.
Dear brothers and
sisters, we can heal the deep inner heart wounds by deep sharing. Ministry of
sharing or counseling will only dress up the wounds; but Jesus Christ the wound
healer will heal us. So let us listen to the word of God which will lead to the
wound healer. Others will see and watch our respectful and pure conduct of day
today life. So, do not let your adorning be external- the braiding of hair and putting
on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear- but let your adorning be the
hidden person of heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quite
spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women
who hoped in God used to adorn them, by submitting to their own husbands, as
Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do well
and do not fear anything that is frightening. Let us adorn the fear of the Lord
to obey his words. He will heal our wounds and makes us well to say that I am
ok and you are ok. This healing will bring joy and happiness into the young
women who are in forties. Kindly share this good news to the young people those
who are in need of help, and send a word to my email id. revsjc@gmail.com, revsjc721@gmail.com, revsjc12@hotmail.com,
johnchelliah857@yahoo.com.